I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
