well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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