So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
