i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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