We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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