Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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