i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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