The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
