I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
