dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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