hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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