I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
