guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We are all done wearing pants today
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
