To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
