he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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