I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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