I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
