She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
