She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
