We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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