her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
