I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize