careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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