It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So vagazzling was a success
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
