Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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