Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
