Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
