Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I want her autograph on my taint
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
