Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Actions speak louder than pants.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
