So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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