Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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