How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
