69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
