So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
