dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
