Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
