I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Randomize
