my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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