You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
