youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
