My nipple is on Facebook.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
she told me i tasted like america
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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