id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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