Tell her she can't have a vagina
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My breasts were aching with rage.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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