Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
