I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
