I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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