i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
