Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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