Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
