Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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