in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
