if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
