He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
