I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it was like eating out sand paper
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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